


Kindness for the Lonely

by ShimadaGenji



Category: Naruto
Genre: ? - Freeform, Character Study, Dealing With Guilt, Gen, I REPEAT NOT SHIP THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC, Lesbian Haruno Sakura, Mending Bonds, Teacher/Student friendship, Trans Hatake Kakashi, i think this qualifies as fluff, idk! Just kakashi and sakura connecting cause i wish they had more time together i love them, just a little bit of violence, loving and supporting sakura, not ship, slightest LGBT themes, trust and companionship!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 08:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20992127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShimadaGenji/pseuds/ShimadaGenji
Summary: Sasuke left, Naruto left. Sakura got left behind and Kakashi got too used to loneliness.A little canon divergence? Kakashi and Sakura are sent on a mission together and have to talk about what happened and where they are now.





	Kindness for the Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I just... really like Kakashi and Sakura... why the fuck did they like.. not interact since Naruto left the village Kishimoto is homophobic , trying to keep Gay uncle kakashi and lesbian niece sakura apart like that smh  
Also i am very embarrassed abt this but i WILL post it anyway

Boredom sure was a danger, even more so when it was prompted by procrastination.

He had unfortunately gotten used to the routine of waking up, getting ready and drowning in his guilt before meeting his little genin team for the whole few months he trained them. Or was made to train them, he probably didn’t succeed very well at the actual training. But what did it matter, their team was now broken, the children in the hands of more capable people (save one exception, hopefully) and Kakashi back to the lonesome daily live of a Jounin, one that was still particularly new to him. It was boring. Especially when he was forbidden to take any missions until his next scheduled one. Of course he had to blame Tsunade for that.

He had come back from a mission about 2 days before with a fucked up arm. Not that much of a concern until Tsunade paid him a visit at the hospital.

“Clear your schedule until Monday, I’m sending you in a mission and I want you well and ready until then, so no other missions.” By the way she spoke, Kakashi wondered if he was somehow being instanced back into ANBU.

“I’m sending Sakura off to gather some medical supplies the hospital bought. It’s a good learning experience for her and I don’t want her to go alone, so I’m sending you as an escort and Jounin, just in case.”

A dread pooled up in his stomach then.

“Am I a good choice for such a mission? Wouldn’t a medic nin be better suited?” He almost wanted to say he was overqualified for it, but that was just a poor excuse.

“I trust Sakura, she’s smart, I doubt she’ll need any help with the product. And you-” She stuck a finger in his direction. “Also need to get your act together, so this is the perfect mission for the both of you.”

And that was how Kakashi found himself in his predicament.

Kakashi didn’t dislike Sakura, of course. She was smart and brave and dedicated, despite the flaws of a regular child. Sakura was more than capable, and the issue wasn’t Sakura, but more what the idea of her meant. Sakura got hurt by Kakashi’s mistakes and he wasn’t ready to exactly face her yet. He knew, realistically, that he couldn’t go the rest of his life avoiding Sakura, but he hoped they wouldn’t have to work together so soon. It was barely a year since Sakura started training under Tsunade anyway. He had to get ready, so of course, he didn’t.

With no missions and Gai out with his team, Kakashi was struck with plain boredom. Boredom was probably better than dread so he went along with it anyway.

He spent his days the best way he could, holed up in his house hoping he wouldn’t bump into… some people, before the scheduled time of the mission departure.

He read the whole Icha Icha series again. Got bored and decided to clean his shelf and order his books by color. Got antsy so he masturbated. Got bored so decided to read Icha Icha again. Realized he was hungry but he was at chapter 10 and chapter 10 was just soooo good. Trained the best way he could inside his apartment and hurt his fucked arm again. Finally decided to eat 2 hours later and then remembered why he was putting off eating when he was met with a mostly empty fridge. Put some eggs and chopped eggplants on the pan and ate that unsalted mush in silence because hey, at least it had eggplant. And he left his house to visit his team, the original one, and stood there feeling stupid about it all.

Maybe he could get hurt and not have to go. And wasn’t that a hilarious thought. Kakashi was really that afraid of a little girl. It felt eerily familiar. What a sad excuse of a man.

Despite it all, Kakashi did manage to pass through the days without any incident. Read, stall, train, mop, repeat. He had decided to go to the market the day before and buy some nice food for a change and prepared some meals to go. He woke up the morning of the mission with 3 hours to spare. It’d take two days to come and go if everything went according to plan, so he made sure to pack all required weapons and provisions, even some for Sakura just in case. Twoo days being beside Sakura. He got ready in 30 minutes and sat on his bed for 2 hours.

He never was a people person. He didn’t know what he should say or do around her. “Sorry” simply wouldn’t cut it, Kakashi knew better than that. “I promisse I’ll fix it” was stupid, he had told her that already and look where they ended up. It could be worse, of course but it was bad enough. Kakashi had a responsibility as their Jounin-sensei and he failed, and once more everyone paid for it. Again it all felt eerily familiar. He waited with his thoughts until he was half an hour late and then he decided he should go. It was a calculated risk. Not being late would mean a too drastic change, being too late would mean no change whatsoever. This was just fine.

Sakura was standing against the village gates, a book in her hand as she waited. Just by the thickness of it Kakashi could tell it was no type of literature he usually read in the streets. The short hair was a sight he had grown used to, the bandaged hands were new. He wondered where those came from.

He approached her and the eye smile came easily to him.

Her head snapped up from the book as he approached.

“Kakashi-sensei!” She greeted, despite him not being her sensei anymore. There wasn’t a shout of “You’re late!” either, anyway.

“Hey, Sakura-chan. All ready to go?” He pointed out the village gates.

“Yes, yes.” She hastily put the book in her backpack and slung it over her shoulders. Eyes snapping ahead.

“Yep, I’m ready.”

“Good. Let’s get going then.” He took the first steps out and listened and she kept his pace.

It looked like any other day. It  _ felt _ like any other day. Kakashi could take a whiff of the air and feel the soft smell of the trees that covered the forest surrounding Konoha. They walked in silence for what could have been a long time. Kakashi didn’t look at Sakura and Sakura didn’t look at him. Awkwardness was only expected. Who knew just walking besides someone could feel so uncomfortable.

Naruto was usually the one to spring up conversations, and Kakashi doubted Sakura had much childish curiosity left to come up with simple questions about the basics of a shinobi’s mission.

How old was she anyway? 14? And working hard under Tsunade’s tutelage.

_ I was ANBU at that age. _

He kept his attention on the road.

A few more minutes in and he started feeling Sakura glancing in his direction every now and then. Her eyes moved from the road to him to her own feet. Self confidence was something she always lacked in a way. After the scare of the fight against Zabuza and his apprentice, Sakura had gotten a certain gloom about her prowess as a ninja that only seemed to better a bit during the chuunin exams. And then the whole fiasco at the hospital roof happened and Sakura again seemed to lock up. But then Kakashi’s attention had already turned elsewhere, and when he realized how much she needed help, a push in the right direction, she already had done that herself, seeking out Tsunade. He was proud of her for it, in the end. It made him happy to see her stand up for herself and give her best. Sakura was too smart to be held back by Kakashi’s ineptitude as a teacher.

He should have done better.

They spent the entire morning in silence.

“Let’s stop to eat.” He said somewhere around midday.

Sakura nodded.

They sat down somewhere nice enough and Kakashi pulled the food he packed from his bag. Sakura sat beside him and pulled open her own bento. It was definitely an upgrade from the humble meals she would eat at the start of the Team 7 days. Something about a diet. This one was filled with rice and a pick of salad, some egg along with it.

“I got you something.” He pulled the little box he prepared for her. “Though you’ve got a good plate there so I understand if you don’t want it.” He kept a smile on his eyes as he scratched at his cheek awkwardly. Sakura stared for a second with her mouth hanging open, possibly in disbelief before she finally reached for it. She took off the lid of the sausage and vegetables collection Kakashi had made and turned a little pink at the sight of it.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to.” She mumbled sheepishly even as she laid the box next to her own food to grab a bite.

“Maa, I made so much, just thought I’d share.” He said, opening his own box to eat.

They ate like that, her eyes trained on her food and Kakashi working his magic of eating through a mask. 

“Kakashi-sensei has always been a good cook, right?” Sakura said with a weak smile on her face. 

“Hm?” Kakashi tilted his head. “Ah, it’s something I do I guess.”

“You cooked our lunch for the bell test too, didn’t you? It was…uh...” Sakura seemed to get lost in her own head, thinking of that day. Of her teammates and the meaning of teamwork. “ ...really good.” She finished eyes trained to her own lap again.

Kakashi didn’t know what to say.

Thankfully Sakura shook her head, breaking out of it on her own.

“I have something for you too.” She quickly dug through her bag pulling out a thermos, shoving it to Kakashi. He took it gently from her.

“It’s tea.” She clarified. “I’ve been studying some herbs and tried coming up with something. It’s for relaxing.” 

“Thank you, Sakura.” He smiled at her, and she gave a small smile back before turning back to finish her food.

He pulled his mask down a bit and took a little sip of the tea.

For a second he almost gagged, the bitter taste assaulting his mouth, and then he swallowed as fast as he could, feeling a newfound horror at how the taste turned into mud and then something  _ else. _ He pulled the thermos away, risking a quick glance in Sakura’s direction to make sure she wasn’t watching before staring in awe at whatever monstrosity Sakura had created. 

He was reminded of Gai’s health cure curry. He felt laughter bubble up from his stomach but stubbornly held it down. It made him feel grateful anyway. He closed the thermos and put it on his pack.

The atmosphere around them became lighter after lunch. There was a weird silence still present but it felt much more bearable, although he could sense some hesitance from Sakura to break it. 

He decided to break the ice for her.

“So… how’s it been studying under Tsunade?”

Sakura looked at him wide eyed for a second.

“Ah! She’s… well, she’s amazing, she really knows what she’s doing and it’s a lot. It’s a lot of hard work.”

“Ah, but that’s the perfect work for a kunoichi who was top of her class like you, right Sakura?” He asked a bit playfully. She once again turned pink at his words.

“It’s hard but… but I think I really like it. It’s something I want, so I hope to make Tsunade proud.” She says, gathering confidence with every word.

“I don’t doubt you do.” Kakashi said. And he meant it.

Sakura looked away too fast for Kakashi to catch the expression on her face.

“You know Tsunade, right? I mean, she says... she knows you.” She said almost hurriedly, and Kakashi dreaded what things Tsunade might have said about him.

“Yes. My father was friends with her.” He replied cautiously.

“Your father?!” Sakura’s eyebrows shot up. “Ah, I forgot Tsunade is that o-… uh.” She stopped, flustered. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her. 

“It’s…” she continued. “Please don’t tell her I said that.” She pleaded with him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He tried to keep her talking about her training, distract her for the next few hours of their trip. Because it is much easier to talk about something you care about. And because she seemed very much not keen on talking about them, Naruto or Sasuke.

At one point though she stopped talking, hesitating.

“Something wrong?” Kakashi prompted her.

“It’s… well…” she thought for a moment. “Tsunade paused my training. Some time ago she took me to this place with a huge boulder. She told me to break it. I, of course, told her that it wasn’t possible, a girl like me can’t do that. She... didn’t like my answer.”

Sakura frowned at her own feet.

“She told me that if I couldn’t break that rock then I wasn’t fit to keep training under her, and might as well give up.”

Kakashi waited in silence for a moment.

“So you plan to give up?”

Her head snapped up.

“No! No, of course. I asked her  _ how _ I could do such a thing but she only gave me one piece of advice. ‘You’ll find the strength you need in three places: core, control and will’ she said. So I’ve been giving my best. I’ve been training my taijutsu everyday, I even asked Lee for help. I’ve done every chakra control exercise I could think of. And no matter how hard I wanted to break that rock, I couldn’t do it.”

That explained the bandaged hands at least. Sakura wasn’t lying about her effort. He’d believe her anyway.

Kakashi hummed.

Sakura sighed.

“She told me going out on a mission my refresh my mind and give me some answers, so here I am.” She said, defeated.

Core… control… and will.

“Maa, Sakura. I think you’ll figure it out eventually.” Kakashi felt the urge to pat her head to console her. She gave him a sideways glance.

“You wouldn’t know those answers, would you?”

“Nope.”

She sighed once more.

They walked and the sun followed as they made their way into a rather secluded village, if it could even be called that. By the time they reached the humble place, the sun had already met with the horizon, casting orange hues in the sky. 

“We’ll check in at our place to sleep and get the product first thing in the morning. Sounds good?” Kakashi asked, and Sakura nodded.

So they checked in, a room for each with their dinner delivered there.

He bid Sakura goodnight and went to his room. 

He let out a long exhale.

It wasn't as bad as he thought it'd be, just like it was with people. He could almost hear his so called "friends" laughing at it. But well, Kakashi had expected more lack of delicacy and missteps from himself, maybe some tears from Sakura. 

He just had to deal with talking around some many topics that revolved around team 7.

Sakura felt guilty about it all as well. And that just wasn't fair to her. 

He was too familiar with the feeling of guilt, it drove many of his actions during a day. Changed the way he acted, he thought, he lived. He wouldn’t wish the harsh lessons he learned just too late on anyone, and definitely not on someone like Sakura. But there was still hope though, her friends weren’t truly gone yet. Sasuke was probably still alive so maybe… And Naruto was away, but he was in better hands. 

But she was the one the left behind in a sense, staying with all the “what if”s and “I should’ve”s. Her and Kakashi.

So he was all she had now. 

He should say something.

What would he have liked to hear when he was in the same situation?

A bitter laugh escaped him. His younger self didn't seem to like anything to be quite honest. He seemed bent on proving himself deserving of being alive more than anything else, comfort was just another resource wasted on him that would have to be paid back.

He sighed, rubbing his hands against face.

He really hoped Sakura wasn't like him, for her own sake. He might as well get over his fear.

Kakashi ironically spent most of the night thinking those same thoughts he feared for the girl.

Morning came and after a quick breakfast, they were back to work. They walked the main dirt path past several little shops and tents. Despite its size, the village had pretty ok trading point for specific wares, such as medicinal herbs and religious trinkets.

“It’s that one.” Sakura pointed at a store, she looked back at him.

“Go on.” He encouraged. She turned around and went in.

Kakashi waited a second and then headed in as well.

The whole place felt clustered from top to bottom with all kinds of things. Plants, containers, animal parts, books. Kakashi could almost feel overwhelmed by the sheer mixture of scents inside the small shop.

Sakura stood by the counter talking to an older man.

“I’m not-”

“I told you already.” The man interrupted her. “We don’t do business with you kids, so leave.” The man shooed her away. Sakura held her hands together in front of her hesitantly. The man turned his gaze in Kakashi’s direction.

“What can I help you with, mister?” He asked almost pleasantly. 

Sakura also turned to him, her eyes searching for some kind of help.

He tilted his head at her. Sakura’s gaze hardened. She turned back to the man.

“Sir, I’m a genin of Konoha, and a representative of the Godaime Hokage, Senju Tsunade. I came for the products that were bought by the village so please allow me to see them.” 

The man looked thoroughly embarrassed, much to Kakashi’s delight.

“R-right, I’ll collect your package, wait here.” And he left to the back.

Sakura let out a breath, turning once again to Kakashi.

He gave her a thumbs up.

She gave him a genuine smile.

“Here it is, miss.” The man said, piling up a few boxes of supplies. Sakura checked them over while Kakashi watched. Once satisfied, she distributed the load between the both of them, putting it all inside their bags, and thanked the man.

“Let’s get going, we better leave as soon as possible if we want to get to Konoha by today still, seeing how things go for us usually.” Kakashi said.

Sakura tilted her head in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Hm?” He hummed. “Oh well, our team has always been a little magnet for trouble, is all.”

Sakura snapped her eyes to her feet, almost as if she had been scolded. Kakashi looked confused at what might have caused such a reaction.

“It’s interesting. We shouldn’t always expect the expected.”

“R-right.”

An awkward silence fell over them.

“Let’s get going then.”

He moved and she followed right along.

It was very hard for him to deny that Sakura felt guilty now. Responsible somehow for the mess of their team. It was in the way she avoided topics and kept her stare far away. But it he only started noticing then Sakura’s other odd behavior. The careful watch of words, the widening of eyes and the snapping of them away from him. It was in the way she shifted her feet and hands uncomfortably. A behavior Kakashi had seen more than once during his ANBU days coming from people from other teams.

Sakura was afraid of him.

It hurt a bit, Kakashi promised to never hurt a teammate, never let any harm come to Sakura, so fear wasn’t exactly the feeling he wanted to elicit from her. In a way he understood the danger he represented, Kakashi was an S-class murder in the end. Maybe she just saw the kind of darkness he carried with him.

Kakashi shook his head.

_ You’re thinking too hard. _

He reeled his thoughts back in and tried again. Sakura was a child still, a child who was left behind and was now doing her best to catch up. Smart but not as confident in herself when it came to it. Training under a legend and coming up short. Going on a mission with her last teacher.

That trail seemed to be going in a more accurate direction. But Kakashi couldn’t stay on it, his senses picking up on other people on the road. His attention shifted, eyes trailing further up ahead in the direction of the scent. It was more than one person for sure.

The first thing he spotted was a stopped cart. The second was the man being held up by the scruff of his clothes. He shared a quick glance with Sakura and they dashed.

There were 6 people up total, two terrified (what were probably) merchants, a man and a woman, and four men, one roughing up one the helpless man. The burglars seemed to be unloading the cart and taking its contents. They weren't anyone Kakashi recognized from the bingo book and didn’t carry any identifying hitai-ate with them. So just a group of bandits.

“Hey!” Sakura called out when they got close enough. “Drop that man!”

All heads turned to the pair.

“Move along, kid! Nothing to see here.”

“You should listen to her.” Kakashi said, stopping close to her. “You lot wouldn’t want to get into trouble after all.”

A long haired man approached the one holding the merchant.

“They’re shinobi, we should leave.”

The supposed leader let go of the man.

“We’re four against one man and a little girl! What do you think you can even do against us?” He laughed.

Kakashi and Sakura traded another glance. She nodded, a hard gaze in her face. He nodded back.

Sakura put her pack, with fragile medicine inside, on the ground carefully, cracking her knuckles and getting in a stance. 

In three strides she reached her first target, and Kakashi jumped into action. The man wearing a bandana raised his arms to defend himself and there was a second of utter shock from everyone when Sakura’s fist collided, breaking the man’s arm painfully.

He yelled, clutching the useless limb close to his chest. She spun on her heel and kicked him away. By then the remaining men were already alert, but Kakashi had also made his move. With a quick swipe, he shoved his palm in another attacker’s nose, feeling it break, he hit the back of the man’s neck, and that was two down.

Now there were only the long haired man and the supposed leader. No, wait. He sniffed the air.

Sakura moved to attack the latter, quick and certain with her attacks. But the man also had his way on a fight, he also the advantage of having much longer limbs, forcing Sakura to dodge away before being able to hit an opening. Well. Then Kakashi just had to make that opening bigger.

He approached fast and made a move to hit the man’s side from his back. The man looked behind him, dodging Kakashi’s attack. He went for a punch at Kakashi’s gut, but the angle was bad, Kakashi was braced for it. His attention was on him now. Sakura drove her foot down onto the side of the man’s knee. The leg buckled as the man shouted and then he was on his knees.

“SHANNAROOOO!” Sakura uppercut the man on the chin, sending him up and then sprawling down, unmoving.

The other smell Kakashi felt got suddenly much stronger.

Kakashi lunged just in time to use his arm to block the hidden attacker’s own arm, a knife clutched in his hand. Almost a hit on Sakura’s back. Kakashi felt a jolt of pain travel down his entire arm, reminding him of the wound he sustained last mission (that he did not let heal properly). A flick of his hand and a twist of the man’s arm and the knife was dropped. He tugged the man down and dove his knee into his face. The man fell limply.

Sakura looked at him wide eyed.

There was still one man standing.

Or running.

“Hey! Get back here!” Sakura yelled, grabbing one of the dropped bags and threw.

Kakashi watched it sail through the air, landing on the man’s head and sending him tumbling down. Kakashi moved there before the man could regain his composure.

Kakashi squatted in front of him as he struggled to get up.

“Maa, I told you you wouldn’t want to get into trouble.” He smiled, and grabbed the man by the back of his shirt, taking him back to the cart.

Back there he found Sakura apologizing to the two travelers profusely for throwing their bag like that.

“It’s fine, we would have lost that to those thieves anyway. Me and my brother are thankful.” The woman said.

“Please take at least this bag of peaches as a thank you, it’s the least we can do.” The man continued.

Sakura thanked them, and after she and Kakashi helped collect and place everything back into the cart, they bis the siblings farewell.

After that they tied up the thieves and continued traveling.

“That was some good fighting, Sakura.”

“Huh?” She startled, looking at him.

“You’ve gotten really strong.” He smiled.

She looked away from him.

“T-thank you.”

Kakashi watched her fall into silence. The word “afraid” came back to his mind, but he wasn’t exactly sure that was it anymore. Sakura had been okay fighting alongside him.

“It’s like you said, teamwork.” Sakura continued.

And then, for some reason, it clicked.

It was less Sakura scared of him, and more scared of facing him. Their team fell apart, did Sakura expect him to blame her? Suddenly he felt even more stupid about how he spent his last few days. How pathetic of him indeed.

“I’m not mad, Sakura.”

She looked up at him.

“About Sasuke, or Naruto. I’m not mad.”

She almost flinched at the mention of the names, eyes glueing to her own feet again. And that’s how he nailed the problem.

“It wasn’t your fault Sakura, Sasuke made his own decisions.”

“But I should have tried harder, shouldn’t I?” She said hurriedly. “I took too long to understand… to take it seriously. Sasuke is my teammate, I should have tried harder to make him fit in, to make him stay. I failed, and Naruto got hurt too because of it.”

“Sakura…” he started, trying to gather up the right words. “You did try. You extended you hand to him and he didn’t take it. Teamwork is about cooperation, and you did all you could.” Sakura tucked her chin further into her chest, face turned fully to the floor. 

“If anything, it’s my fault, I’m your teacher after all, so it’s my responsibility to attend to your needs, and I didn’t.”

“But you did try, sensei. Didn’t you? You knew there was something wrong with him and you trained him, you tried to help him as well.” She said loudly, rubbing her eyes.

Kakashi didn’t know what to say. It didn’t feel like he helped at all. Instead of helping Sasuke let go of that anger, Kakashi gave him a weapon to let it out on something. Or someone. 

He thought of that day on the hospital roof and felt a bit sick.

No words came to him, so he didn’t say anything.

“Are…” Sakura said carefully. “Is your arm okay?”

“Hm?” Kakashi stopped, noticing that he had been idly rubbing his hurt arm. “Oh, it’s-“ he caught himself before he could finish. This was as good as opener for him as it could get. Kakashi needed to be honest with her. He breathed in.

“Do you want to take a look?”

She looked up at him a bit surprised.

“I’ve been a guinea pig for enough field diagnosis jutsu already, I’m used to it if you want to practice.” 

She shifted her weight on her feet.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“Yes, Sakura.” He took off his pack and laid it on the ground, sitting himself down, crossing his legs. “Go ahead.”

She hesitated for a second, but then dropped her own pack and kneeled in front of him.

She started by reaching for his arm, so He extended it for her and she let her hands hover around it. There was a faint glow of Sakura’s jutsu and Kakashi started feeling the weird tingling in his flesh of its effect. Sakura had her eyes closed and brows furrowed in concentration, so he stayed quiet.

“It’s healing… I’m guessing it’s at least a few days old? You should be careful, sensei.”

“Haha, yes, yes.” He scratched the back of his head with his free hand. Sakura opened her eyes.

“It’s not any more damage though, so it’s fine.” She leaned back, sitting down on her legs.

“Huh? That’s it? I still have a lot of body left.” 

“You want me to do the whole process?” She blinked at him.

“I said it was okay, didn’t I?”

She once again hesitated, but then got back up on her knees nodding. 

“Okay.” 

She raised her arms so that her hands were on both sides of his head. Now this was the process Kakashi was used to. The head first to check for any concussions or bleeding. The tingling felt even weirder when it was inside his head.

Sakura’s attention seemed to waver for a second, and he caught the minor shift in her expression.

“You can ask it.”

The glow of her hands stopped. She looked at him for a bit, thinking whether to voice her question or not.

“Does… does it hurt?” She said. Hand hovering near his left eye. Kakashi wondered if she could tell it was not his. Well, she had to know it wasn’t his, he wasn’t an Uchiha afterall, but it was one thing to know it, and another to  _ feel  _ it.

“Not anymore. Just drains a lot of chakra.”

She probably could tell that.

She stared blankly away and nodded slowly. She closed her eyes again and the glow came back. She went past his neck (checking for obtrusions) and stopped a bit over his chest. The lungs and the heart. Kakashi had had a few mishaps with electric chakra to the point of sending his own heart to very unusual rythms, and the metaphorical state of the thing was irrelevant to the moment, but Kakashi’s heart was as healthy as it would for a man his age. He didn’t smoke nor had enough disastrous mishaps with fire jutsu to damage his lungs, so those were fine as well. Sakura also seemed to come to the same conclusion as she moved further down.

Kakashi braced himself for what came next. Rin had been used to it.

“You got hit here.”

Kakashi was almost caught by surprise, looking at Sakura keeping her hands above his stomach, forgetting for a second about the punch he took.

“Ah, yes. It doesn’t hurt though.”

She hummed in reply and sent her chakra further into his body.

And then her face scrunched up in confusion.

It was a bit comical. 

She sent more chakra in and Kakashi started feeling an uncomfortable zapping into his uterus.

Before she could do any damage she cut the jutsu.

“Sorry, sensei, I think I messed up the jutsu. I thought I sensed something that shouldn’t be there.”

“I have a suspicion that you didn’t, though I also think that should definitely not be there.” Kakashi said almost flippantly. It was the best way he knew to talk about such things anyway.

Sakura’s brows scrunched further together in confusion, but then, slowly it seemed to dawn on her, eyebrows shooting up.

“I’m-! I’m so sorry, sensei! I didn’t mean to-!” She started apologizing hands covering her mouth.

“I told you it’s fine, Sakura. I wouldn’t have let you do it otherwise.” 

She kept looking at him with the same wide eyed look she’d been giving the whole trip.

_ Why are you doing this? _

Kakashi took a deep breath.

“You’ve grown a lot Sakura. You’ve always been smart, but you never got too comfortable. You went after more, and you learned. And you’ve made amazing strides in your physical strength too. I mean it when I say I’m proud. You deserve a bit of credit there.”

_ I’m opening up to you, you see? I don’t want you to feel ashamed of yourself. _

Sakura grimaced, her eyes shining up with tears and Kakashi felt his guts flipping at the thought that maybe he just said something really bad and made the situation first. The part of his brain that had learned to deal with Gai’s different types of crying was what saved him from a panicked reaction.

“H-hey…”

“Sensei! I!” She rubbed her eyes, sniffing. “I just, I was so stupid! I didn’t know what I was doing! But then things went so bad and-! And Sasuke left and I promised myself I’d try harder, because Naruto was already giving his all despite being the last.” She stopped a second to sob. “And then-. And then Tsunade started teaching me, and it’s so hard but it’s also so good! I have a real goal now and I  _ want  _ to give my best! And Ino-! Ino started talking to me again and I get to see her so often now and that makes me so, so happy!”

She breathed in, letting out a long exhale to control her crying.

“I feel bad, for being happy in a time like this. I’m still not good enough, I shouldn’t be happy… and all of that happened, how can I be okay with it? I’m not! But still I… I do wish I could fix our team! And I miss Naruto, and you, sensei, really really bad. But it’s like-! Suddenly I’m the world is so much more… I don’t know.” She sniffed “I’m sorry. That’s probably just me being emotional.”

Admittedly, emotions were never Kakashi’s strong suit, but he thought he understood a bit what Sakura was trying to say. He petted her head, hoping to calm her down.

“It’s fine, Sakura. To be proud of your progress. Connecting with people, making new ties, being more active… It’s good you are still enjoying the good things coming your way, it’s not good to get stuck in the bad things of the past, it’s hard to grow like that.” He understood that too well. “And I’m sure Naruto would be happy to hear that you are doing well. I’ll try to stick around more too, if you need me. You said you were training with Lee, right? If you ever need it, just ask Gai and he’ll definitely hunt me down for you. He’s very good at dragging me around so I won’t be able to say no.”

She nodded, a breathy laugh scaping as she rubbed her eyes again. It felt a lot better than seeing her cry.

“You don’t need to do that, sensei. I understand.” What she understood she didn’t say. He still made a mental note to ask Gai if and when he’d take Sakura for a commemorative team dinner so he could coincidentally show up, or just watch over if he wasn’t feeling brave enough.

“Still, like I said, you’ve grown a lot, and you’ll keep growing. It’s only a matter of time for you to surpass your teachers, I’m sure. At this point it’s not a question of you wanting to, but one of you believing you can.”

Sakura suddenly stiffened under Kakashi’s hand. He went still as well.

“That’s it.”

“Huh?” He asked smartly.

“That’s it!” Her head snapped up and Kakashi moved his hand away.

He didn’t get it.

“Tsunade’s lesson! Core, control and will!”

He tilted his head.

“Strength of spirit, using the energy you have efficiently and believing you can! I got it! Kakashi-sensei!” She shouted, almost jumping up and down in excitement, face still tear streaked.

“Good on you, Sakura.” He smiled. “We better get back fast so you can test that out.”

“Huh? Ah, yes! Yes, let’s go!”

She picked herself up and started moving ahead but suddenly stopped again.

She turned around just enough to look at him.

“Does that mean I should ask Ino out?”

Kakashi had no idea how she made a connection from her last words to those, so he assumed she didn’t. Sakura didn’t give him a chance to answer anyway, she looked him up and down and seemed to remember his peculiar taste in literature.

“Nevermind.” She mumbled.

And they continued walking back to Konoha.

Gai was really excited a few days later, when he walked alongside Kakashi by a big boulder cracked in half on one of the older training grounds.

Kakashi also felt weirdly giddy.

**Author's Note:**

> IDK, SUE ME


End file.
